The Antlers - Hospice

Hospice is the third studio album by The Antlers. It is one I found while specifically searching for concept albums, and found the description I found especially off-putting yet beautiful, exactly my jam.

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The album follows the relationship between a terminally ill patient and a hospice worker. A hospice worker. Hospice care is one that focuses on reducing the pain and suffering of the patient in their last days. The funny thing here is that Peter Silberman, the artist behind the album, tells us that he uses this metaphor to describe an emotionally abusive relationship. It is an album that can inspire great empathy and make you quite emotional. Let's dive right in!

Prologue is an instrumental that sets the tone of the album, which is not exactly cheerful. It sounds very hospital-like to me, or very 'full-of-death', which is fitting since people are always dying in hospitals. However, it could be because I've heard the album quite a few times. Next, in Kettering, we are thrown in the said hospital-like room and introduced to the girl who is terminally ill. The lyrics '..abused by the bone that refused you' suggest she has some form of bone cancer. The protagonist also wishes he knew 'the unpayable debt' that he owed to her, which I think refers to how he cannot save her life. He tries to smile, approach her but she outright dismisses him and tells him to leave. However, something stops him from leaving, and instead, he stays and decides to take care of her.

Image credit: Yasmin Nadhirasari on Issuu

On the next track, we get to know the girl's name, which is Sylvia, an ode to the poet Sylvia Plath, who spent her life in clinical depression. At this point, he is taking care of her but it's not going well, with her always crying and being difficult. The protagonist asks her to let him do his job, to take care of her, but she is suicidal, as is evident by how she seemingly puts her head in the oven, like the late poet who committed suicide in the same way. He also tells her to go back to screaming and cursing, further telling us the devotion he has for her. He is ready to take abuse from her as long as she doesn't hurt herself.

The protagonist feels trapped in the relationship which he cannot escape.

Image credit: Yasmin Nadhirasari on Issuu

Atrophy furthers their relationship and tells us more of the terrible condition the protagonist is in. He is a villain in Sylvia's dreams, and he is worse in person, constantly letting her down. However, he remains ever-committed to Sylvia, and they become engaged, which we get to know by "..that ring on my finger". It The track then breaks into an instrumental post which we're left with the protagonist calling out for someone to help him, to tell him how to stop this. Bear is the most upbeat track on the album, however, don't be mistaken that it's uplifting, since it talks about abortion. The protagonist gets Sylvia pregnant, however, raising a child is out of the question, so they "put an end to him". It also comments on their relationship and how they're "terrified of one another and terrified of what that means".

Sylvia reaching out.

Image credit: Yasmin Nadhirasari on Issuu

Thirteen is the first song where we see Sylvia in a new light, scared and helpless because of the great suffering she endures, calling out to "pull her out" from this suffering, and asking if the protagonist can stop all this from happening. We hear more about Sylvia's side of things in Two, in which she has nightmares where it is indicated that she was abused as a child. The song has an upbeat tone, until the verses end and we are thrown into an abyss of haunting sounds. Sylvia dies.

The monitors beep for the last time as Sylvia passes away.

Image credit: Yasmin Nadhirasari on Issuu

Shiva confirms this, with every machine, possibly the machines that kept her alive, stop at once, and the "monitors beeped the last time". He lays down in the bed she was in, and feels it was clearly intended for Sylvia, since his feet were in the air. The protagonist is deeply troubled and traumatized by Sylvia's death. Even if it was an abusive relationship that drained him completely, he loved her with all his heart. He sees her ring in his fist, and how she left it for him. Presumably, he also has nightmares where he sees everything from her point of view, with his face becoming hers and his femur breaking in half. The sensation he feels is described as 'scissors', in which instead of screaming, he just starts to laugh.

The protagonist has the keys to let people in. Image credit: Yasmin Nadhirasari on Issuu

Wake talks about the protagonist's life after Sylvia died. He goes into a cocoon, into his little space and remains there, evident from "doors closed, shades drawn" and "sleeping next to mousetraps in a bed of all our clothes". Everyone is an enemy to him which makes his heart sink, and he recalls how when his friends tried to lift them in the metaphorical helicopter, he tied the same rope around his neck, due to which they stopped bothering altogether. However, he is determined to climb out of this hole he's in, letting his friend in, asking them to "come inside, unlock the doors and take off your shoes", as he feels he has a lot of explaining to do to make them understand his position. But for the first time, he is motivated to tell his story, to come out of the grief and sorrow, and asks his friend to forgive him. The next part of the song, I feel, is the friend telling the protagonist how he shouldn't be afraid to speak, to not take abuse, and how "some patients can't be saved but that burden's not on you". The song ends on words echoing, "Don't ever let anyone tell you you deserve that", which I feel is a key takeaway from the album. You don't deserve to be someone's punching bag, for them to mistreat you, abuse you and hurt you while you sit there taking all of it. You deserve much better than that and don't let anyone tell you any different!

In his nightmares the protagonist sees him and Sylvia in the morgue.

Image credit: Yasmin Nadhirasari on Issuu

Epilogue is a track that touches on the little hauntings of the past that always remain with you, here, in the form of nightmares, where he sees Sylvia. It is quite a haunting track, with how he sees both of them sleeping in the morgue instead of the cancer ward. The line "I'm trying to dig you out but all you want is to be buried there together" I feel describes how some people just don't make an effort to feel better, and pulling others down with them. He wakes up alone in his bed, and realizes how she has been dead for a while now. We also learn that he doesn't work at the hospital anymore. At times he feels like not doing anything just because of the trauma, something that affects you for a lifetime. He keeps having nightmares about her, and how he's terrified to speak when he sees her, as she screams, curses him, hurts him and then eventually smiles and apologizes to him.